Sick, again

Pearls before Swine 08/11/17

Yup.

Another week, and I am sick, a-fucking-gain. I mean, come on, why am I always sick here? Well, I know why, I sleep like shit and eat worse. I work too much and never exercise. But I do take vitamins! So at least I have that going for me.

Went to Mos Burger over the weekend. I was looking for a relatively cheap printer so I can print out some artwork for my walls (bare walls are super depressing) and also looking for some boots for the upcoming rainy/snowy winter. I am not looking forward to walking to work in sneakers and having my socks get wet. Well, no luck finding boots. Went to four shoe stores and the largest size they carry is 27 cm. I am 28.5 cm here, and apparently am Big Foot to these people (what do you mean by these people?) and that is only 10 and a half in the states. That is middle of the pack for the U.S. How do Japanese people not tip over on those little hooves they call feet? Grrr. That means I am going to have to order a pair of shoes online and eat the shipping cost. Ouch. Or get mommy to send a pair and eat that shipping cost too.

I did find an awesome pair of bright green jeans



This picture does them no justice, they were almost neon bright. And they could be yours for the low low price of 7200 yen (are you kidding me $72 for those! used bright green jeans. I am telling you, the way to make money in this country is to ship over used jeans and sell them to vintage clothing stores).

Oh, but Mos Burger. It is the Japanese version of McDonalds, in that it is a fast food burger (or hambahga as it is pronounced in Japanese) joint. But look at this set up



Whoops, already took a bite out of it before I thought to take a picture. This is my meal, cost me 800 yen by the way (ouch). Basic cheeseburger, but had a lot of "secret sauce"/mayonnaise, relish, and ketchup on it and a giant tomato. Bun was toasted, but not crispy, just tasted kind of stale on the edges, not great. Overall, the burger was pretty good though, I would order it again, maybe I just got a stale-ish bun. Sack of fries, pretty good, but not crispy enough for my taste, and my cola came in a glass. A glass glass! That to me is unbelievable. Can you imagine McDonalds serving their drinks in a glass. Of course, no ketchup for the fries, but the secret sauce served as a pretty good dipping substitute. After my meal was finished I couldn't figure out where to put my tray. There was a trash can with a tray on top of it, glass and all, but there wasn't room for me to put my tray there as well. So, I start heading over towards the trash can to try to find a way to put my tray beside or on top of the other tray and the guy behind the counter runs out and starts apologizing (at least I think he was, from what I could catch) and bowing and takes my tray. I think I insulted him somehow by busing my own tray. Whoops, hope he doesn't get fired.

No luck finding a cheap printer. But I did find some relatively inexpensive monitors, and I might splurge on a second monitor for the laptop so I can watch tv and surf the internet at the same time. I love my tv, and frankly, when I have to choose between being productive and doing stuff online and watching tv, tv usually winds up winning. Two monitors would alleviate this problem. Of course, spending $150 for a monitor that I am going to use for maybe 8 months, I dunno. Oh well, I will figure it out, always do.

I think I might partially be sick because I don't wear a coat to work. I go into work at around noon so it is nice and sunny and warm, or not cold I guess. So I never think to take a coat. But, by the time I leave work at 10 at night it is pretty danged chilly. So, I bought the Japanese scarf/headwrap/hat



Damn I am good looking. It is especially nice when my hair pops out. You see people running around in giant hats in this country, I guess because they have such thick hair, and most of the guys (younger guys) have longer hair that they need big hats to put it all under. Yeah, the guys look like anime characters. So do the young women for that matter.

Speaking of which, that is the thing that is driving me the most crazy being over here. The women (well that and the lack of decent pizza). Every freaking woman from 15-35 looks the same. It is like they don't age during those years. I think it is because they don't have curves to speak of, so teen girls look the same as women. But seriously, it is impossible to tell how old a woman on the street is. Yes, the school aged girls wear the sailor schoolgirl outfit, but so do older women. (And I wanted to show a picture to demonstrate what I was talking about, so I typed in Japanese schoolgirl outfit into google. Yeah....not what I was looking for, and now I feel like a pervert.) I had a student the other day wearing the skirt and tights look that high school girls wear. I had previously assumed this woman was in her mid 20s, but she was talking about her kid being in high school. What! She might be 40 for all I know. It is impossible to tell! And as I have said before they all wear shorts or a short skirt and tall boots, every freaking one of em. Hell, I even have 6 and 7 year old girls in my classes wearing the same outfits. I guess Japan is such a uniform place that everyone just wants to look the same, well good for them, but it is making me insane, last thing I want to do is holler at some 15 year old on the street and get thrown in Japanese jail. "I swear officer, I thought she was 35!"

Guess I will have to stick to bars. If I see em drinking they are old enough to talk to. Plus, added bonus, the more they drink the better I look.


Here is a Volvo dealership I walk by when I go to the other side of Tsuruga



The rest of the showroom is all these brand new cars, but they have this old ass Volvo sitting in there as well. Why? I dunno, but it reminds me of being a kid, looks just like the one (two) Dad used to have. Right down to those awful plastic ladder headrests.

Went to Fukui today. Fukui is the large city in this region, and the city the region is named after. Located just above Sabae, and Steven, the Sabae teacher I hang out with told me that there are good stores up there. There was also supposed to be a good sale this weekend at one of the department stores since it is owned by the same company that owns the baseball team the Lions, who just won the Japanese world series. That is pretty cool in my book, team wins, sales for everybody! Combined with the fact that I am still looking for a nice raincoat and boots, I headed up there. One hour by local train, $10 each way. Not bad.

Got to Fukui and of course it is pouring rain. It was overcast in Tsuruga, but it is generally overcast so I didn't bring my umbrella. Didn't want to lug it around all over the place. Luckily most of their streets have the lovely overhangs that Tsuruga does and I was able to stay dry for the most part. Went to the department store that I had heard about, and that place was PACKED! There were tons and tons of people shopping. I guess the deals were pretty good. I got two ties for $21 each, half price. Yes, I bought ties, god I am such an old man. Saw a really nice rain coat, and it was on sale for 20% off, only 451 bucks! Ouch. They also had a Burberry store in the department store. have I explained how department stores are like malls without individual stores? I am too lazy to go back and look, but basically the big store building is divided into little boutique stores inside, but not by walls or anything, just by divisions. For instance, you might go into Target (or you might not if you hate the French and funkily designed goods) and go to the men's department and then the vitamins, and then the toy department and then go to a register at the front of the store to check out . Well, here, all of those different departments are different stores, each with their own registers and bags and you have to pay for each thing you buy at its particular area. Kind of confusing, and kind of annoying to have to stand in three or four seperate lines, but whatever. I also bought a ton of stickers for the kids in my class to put on their homework sheets. I bought letter stickers previously, but so many kids have I's, U's, and K's that I needed to refresh those letters. Yeah, g, l, and r, getting no love. Oh, v either.

On the train ride up, in every town we would go through I would see a Leopalace near the train tracks. I guess that is why they are such cheap apartments, they are all near the train tracks. I feel lucky that my apartment building at least has a street and buildings on the other side of the street to buffer me from the sound of trains. Some of the Leopalaces were less than 100 yards off of the train tracks with nothing but a field between them and the sounds of trains rumbling by at all hourse of the day. One good thing about trains in Japan, no whistles. No warning horns when they are crossing a street. So, relatively quiet, at least compared to trains in America.

I bought a bottle of tea today and this was attached to it



A miniature figurine of a stewardess. I think there is an airplane movie coming out, or just released, here and to promote it I guess they are giving away stewardess figurines. Celebrating all their different uniforms. This hideous orange outfit is from, you guessed it, the swinging 70s. I don't know why she has bright blue hair. Maybe she is a grandmother. But she looks 20 you say. Exactly!

Another weird food thing, Men's chocolate



Had to buy it. Pocky is actually really good, it is pretzel rods covered in chocolate. This is just dark chocolate instead of milk chocolate, but apparently that is too strong for the delicate sensibilities of women and children. I want them to label food in America for Men and Women. Like yogurt, "Yoplait, for Women!" Are you a man, why are you buying Yoplait?


Speaking of food, I know everyone loves me eating gross food



About to chow down on that giant raw fish. Why I always close one eye when I pose for pictures i will never know. I look like goddamned popeye.

I also ate seashell guts. I don't know how else to explain it. You know a seashell you pick up at the beach and hold up to your ear and you can hear the ocean, yeah, I ate whatever lived in that. Including its guts. Its black, disgusting looking intestines with whatever it ate right before it was dragged off the ocean floor and put on my plate still in it. Otherwise, its poop. And guess what it tasted like? Shit. It was nasty. That is the closest I have come to throwing up since I have been here. Not only did it taste awful, but the texture, oh god, the texture. it was like eating wet, fishy smelling sand.

And my friend said, "Yeah, I used to not like the taste either, but you get used to it after awhile." Hello! That is nasty, why would you eat that again? What happened, was she force fed seashell guts until she started to enjoy them? What have I gotten myself into?

Yup, so that is what has been going on lately. Aren't you glad you asked?



Gave him the standard: "Yo, what up man, how you landin'?"
And the hypnotized response was no surprise: "I maintain"
"Yeah we all do, that's the standardized refrain
but on some really real man, good to see you, really, what the dealy deal?"

El-P "Tasmanian Pain Coaster"