Midweek weirdness

Who woulda thunk there was weird shit in Japan?




At the 100 yen store. Body stickers. Swastika body stickers. For little girls to decorate themselves with. Little neo-nazi Japanese children.

And yes, I am aware that the swastika, when facing this way is an appropriate religious symbol in Japan and the shinto religion, as are the yin and yang symbols that also appear in the pack, but dammit it is weird to see a swastika in a store. they are also all over maps here, symbolizing shrines. Can't wait to go to Kyoto, map of that place should look like the American History X seating chart.



And then we have my absolute favorite thing about Japan so far. This is a flashcard for the letter "R" for one of my kids' classes. I call him the sexy rabbit. He will seduce you with his R-ness. Look at his eyes, his devil may care attitude, his come hither look. The way his legs are spread to display his little bunny. The fact that he is wearing a collar without a shirt. Rraaaarrr. Oh yeah, he is ready for you to learn all about the letter R. ALL about it.



God, I can't stop looking at it. He is just so. damned. sexy!

I'm not a drunkard

But you wouldn't know it from the food I eat here.
I am constantly trying to find salty snacks for work. I don't like sweet snacks, and a salty snack is enough to keep me satiated for most of the afternoon before I have classes. This way I am not spending $20 a day on food.

However, it doesn't seem like the Japanese really like salty snacks, except when they have been drinking, because all of the salty snacks I have found have wrappers something like this:



Yeah, that is a panda seal with a beer. Let me repeat that. A panda seal. With a beer. What the hell? Also, my favorite part, the giant lips. It is also kind of racist. Great wrapper! This was a pretty good snack though, peanuts and a salty flavorful crunchy string looking cracker snack.




I also ate some noodles topped with an egg thing that tasted kind of like a pizza. If that isn't drunkard food I don't know what is.

And then there are these



Pea flavored chips. And they taste exactly like peas mixed with chips. Not bad.



Full disclosure, I bought the pea chips when I was drunk.

Under the weather

Been feeling a bit sick lately. Weather turning cooler, raining all the time, and me walking around in it all day last Sunday is not a good combination.

But, I am feeling a bit better now, so let me tell you about what I did last weekend. I went up to Sabae, another small city near Tsuruga, about a 45 minute train ride away. A fellow Geos teacher invited me to see "a Japanese opera" a couple of weeks prior, then that week said, correction, it is a Japanese version of "West Side Story." Ok, cool. Sounds good to me. I have seen West Side Story and enjoyed it. I think I might have worked sound production on it in high school, but maybe not. I can't remember what plays I worked sound for, but I definitely remember seeing West Side Story at some point in my life on stage.

So, last Sunday I head up to Sabae a little after 3 pm. It had been raining steady all day long and was chilly. Good day. The play wasn't until about 6, so we walked around Sabae a little bit, they were having a small festival, perhaps a children's festival when we were going through there, maybe a bit more adult at night, hard to tell. Anyway, we went into the Japanese Language center where this teacher takes Japanese lessons because I had to use the bathroom. The bathroom was scary, no lights, just the ambiant light from outside, and since it was all gray and rainy that day, very dark bathroom. Luckily it was Eastern style which means hole in the floor, so no missing really. When I got back the other teacher was looking at pictures of stuff that had gone on at the school recently, including a cooking night. And we saw a black guy in the pictures! Exciting stuff! That is the first black person I have seen in Japan. Steven, the other teacher, was lamenting that he didn't get know there was a cooking night and decided that he was definitely going to the next one.

We then bought some Sake, Black Dragon brand Sake (cuz it is manly sounding!), and went back to his apartment to have a few drinks before the play. He also lives in a Leopalace apt, because, well, he works at Geos and that is how we live. His apartment was the exact same as mine except it was about two feet narrower. Man, I have never been so happy for two feet in my life. (And that's what she said) It makes such a big difference in the feel of the apartment. Plus, in his bathroom, his shower and bathtub are seperate, like the hose from his shower goes over the floor instead of into the bathtub.


My bathroom, notice the shower head and hose in the bathtub, his would be going to the right, away from the tub.


I guess this is more traditional for the Japanese, because they don't really shower, they shower and wash off outside of the tub on the floor of the bathroom, hence the entire room being a wet room, and then get into the bathtub to take a bath. Well, that isn't how I roll, so I am glad my bathroom isn't set up like that.

Anyway, so we drink half the bottle of sake and then head to the play. And outside of the theatre, who do we see, the black guy from the pictures! We got to talking to him and his friends, and the four of them were teachers at another English Language School in Sabae. And turns out, their seats were the row in front of ours. We must have been in the gaigin section of the theater.

West Side Story in Japanese. First off, it was a community theater production, obvious because there was a massive amount of people on stage at one time, including tiny little toddlers for some portions. However, the entire thing was in Japanese so I couldn't tell you if the acting was bad or not.

Yes, the entire three hour musical was in Japanese. But they used the same music for the songs, just sang the lyrics in Japanese. So, I recognized the story, recognized the music, and couldn't understand a damn thing anybody said. I felt like I had a stroke and was just remembering bits of stuff I used to know. Actually, that is kind of how I feel in Japan all of the time.

Also, if you don't know, West Side Story is about gangs. Okay, who doesn't know the story of West Side Story? Even if you have never seen it, it is so pop culture pervasive everyone must know. Romeo and Juliet set in 50's street gang NYC. Anyway, so gangs, gangs of young men fighting one another. Except, it seems like the performing arts aren't really that high on the list of priorities for the Japanese, especially men, so half of the male gang members were women dressed up in drag. And the gangs had people that looked like middle aged adults all the way down to pre-teens. Yeah, it was as strange as it sounds. However, entertaining as all hell to watch and wonder about.

And during big song and dance scenes, little toddlers would parade to the front of the stage in their little sailor outfits and either clap or ring bells, or, in the case of the taunting scene, shout Jets! and then parade off the stage again. It was adorable. And one little boy was walking out and lost his shoe, and he wanted to stop to pick up his shoe so bad, but the little girls behind him were shuffling him forward, the entire time he kept trying to go back and get his little shoe. He was so worried about it. The next time they came out, he was in sock feet.

All in all, it was a hell of an experience. I suggest getting drunk and going to see a comunity theater play in a foreign language, good times.

Afterwards we went out with the quartet of other teachers to Ashiyoshi (I think that is what it was called). It is a grill place where all the food comes on skewers. It was great. Six English speakers packed into a booth order massive amounts of food and drinking heavily. The way food is served in Japan is much different from America. First off, they bring stuff out as soon as it is ready. So if you order five things, you basically get five courses. And this place has oders of 6 skewers of meat, or two rice balls (grilled rice balls, so delicious), or four cucumbers, etc. So you get little orders and order two or three of each thing and they just keep bringing you food. And when you are done you put your skewer in a little cup in front of you, and when you fill that cup that means you are a man! We sat there for two or three hours gorging ourselves on delicious grilled meats, and some not so delicious (Tongue, really, what is the point, not as tasty as regular beef and too chewy. Fortunately, it didn't look like tongue, looked like a little meat flag instead. I think I would have needed much more booze to eat a tonge looking tongue). I have no idea how the Japanese are so thin, there was a ton of food consumed that night. or maybe we are just gluttonous Americans and the Japanese only order two or three courses instead of 15 or 20 like we did.

And then I came home.

Oh, and I peed on the street. It is legal here, and I had to go between the train station and my apt, that is about a mile walk, in the rain, and I had quit a bit to drink that night, so I just let it fly on the street. It was awesome.



Mom, I am so sorry.

Slow posting

Just hanging out in Tsuruga in my awesome box in a dumpster.

Writing

One of the more interesting and unusual things I have noticed while teaching is the way my students write their letters.

Japanese is written a much different way than English. In Japanese almost every "letter" (since they don't have letters per se as much as symbols that represent sounds) is written from left to right and top to bottom. Even when the top is the "add on" part.

Okay, this is kind of tough to explain without demonstrating. So here is "u" in katakana:

Step 1:



Step 2:



Step 3:



Notice how the "add ons" the little parts are written first, because they are at the top and the left part of the letter, and then what I consider the "body" of the letter is added last. This is very different than the way I would write this letter, I would write the "body" part first and then add the little line at the top last. Similar to if I were writing a Q I would write the O body part and add the tail at the end.

Because my students learned to write their Japanese letters in this manner they tend to write their English letters in the same way.

Here is how most of my students write "E"


Step 1:



Step 2:




Step 3:




Step 4:



Weird.


And here is "a" and "b"

a1:



a2:



b1:




b2:




In both cases, students tend to write the line and then add the circle part, and not even a circle, more like a half circle connected to the line.

And maybe it isn't a big deal and this is a completely boring post, but try writing those letters like that and see how odd it feels. Just like as I am learning katakana and trying to follow the "proper" steps to write their letters and it feels completely unnatural. OH MY GOD IS THIS WHAT CULTURE SHOCK FEELS LIKE?!?

Speaking of which, I ate a fish last night. And when I say I ate a fish, I mean I ate the entire fish, from head to tail. Well, actually from middle of body, to tail, to head last. It was about six inches long and pan fried so it was nice and crispy.

Kind of looked like this, but cooked



There were three on the plate, and I asked, "how do you get the meat off of this little fish?" And the response was, "You don't, you just eat the whole thing."

"Uhm, you mean head and tail and bones and all?"

"Yes."

Ooookay. So, I cut the tail off and the head off and attacked the meaty part of the body, thinking I could at least handle that. Yeah, lots of bones in a fish. And I am not used to eating bones. That was strange. And I kept getting bones stuck on the end of my tongue or between my gums and my cheek, so i had to keep wiping them out of my mouth (which is not polite by the way). But, eventually I was able to chew it up. And then (after another beer mind you) I attacked the tail. Actually that wasn't bad at all, it was just crispy and less bones, or littleler(is that a word) bones than the body of the fish. Yay! Now all I had left was the fish head. Looking at me with its ugly fish mouth open and frowning. Its eyes, while cooked you could still see its eyes, it eyes looking at me. Like it was daring me to eat it. Knowing that I couldn't. But I did! It is tough to eat something that is looking at you. That is my new rule in life. I think I would be willing to try anything, as long as I don't know what it is I will eat it. I think that is where I get freaked out. "Hey try this chicken asshole! How bout some sheep eyeballs? Want to eat monkey heart?" NO! But if someone just put that stuff down in front of me and I didn't know what it was and couldn't identify it I think I would just eat it, let my tastebuds be the judge. Of course, if someone serves me monkey heart and I eat it I will be really upset. That is my other rule, no eating monkeys. Anyway, tangent over, eating something with a face that is looking at me, that is tough. But I did. And you know what? Not worth it. It was just chewy and bony and not anything special. Now I have done it, and can say I have done it, but can't say that I will be seeking out any more of that dish anytime soon. Maybe just to prove how manly I am when I hesitate before eating it, aka, give the Japanese a laugh.


The bar we went to last night has been my favorite so far. It was traditional, meaning you had to take your shoes off. However, whereas most traditional restaurants and bars have low tables and you sit indian style (can I still say that? cross-legged style for all you politically correct types out there (or as I like to call them, douchebags!)) and if you are lucky you have a wall nearby to lean your back against. Otherwise it is sitting with no back support for an hour or two. Yeah, not so fun. Not for my back. Well, this place had the mats on a raised floor with the regular height table set into pits in the floor. So you could sit with your legs under the table. It was like eating at booth. And I had a wall behind me, so back support too, so it was exactly like eating at a booth. Yay! The only difference was that you didn't scoot into the booth you walked on the bench until you got to where you were going to sit and then slid under the table. Fun.

Oh, and another thing about some of these bars in Tsuruga, and I assume much of Japan. They are tiny. They are about the size of my apartment. This bar last night couldn't have possibly held more than 20 people. There were two tables in the place and then a bar which might have had 6 seats. I kind of like those places. Somehow they seem more "real" than those huge bars I would do events at for the radio stations (more so for the Bay, RNR has events at some pretty small places too). Of course, none of these bars have a pool table or darts, and the drinks are probably twice as expensive, so not 100% better than big American bars.

Walk walk walkin around

Day off today. Three day weekend! Yay!

Beautiful day, so I decided to walk around this afternoon. I had seen a second hand store while at a restaurant earlier and was told they would have rice cookers. Well I really want one of those. I think if I could get a cooker that I could program to have rice ready when I get home I would be more apt to eat at home instead of always getting stuff out. The biggest hinderence from me cooking at home, besides the complete lack of work area which I will rant about at another time, is that I don't feel like starting to cook at 10 pm. If rice was ready there, I could cook up some chicken quick and have a healthy and inexpensive dinner, instead of going to lawson's and getting junkfood. Also, I hate hate hate the bike that the previous teacher left. I am grateful he left a bike, that is very cool of him. But that bike is terrible. Every time I feel like riding it, I have to fill both tires with air, they are always half flat. And by the time I am riding home I feel like I am riding on the rims again. Also, the tires are so thin that every time I hit a pebble I feel like I am about to kick it over. But, I would like to ride a bike around, it would make getting around much easier and quicker, so I thought it might be worthwhile to check out a secondhand goods store for a more sturdy bike. I have seen mountain bikes around, and that is the kind of thing I am looking for.

Anyway, I had seen the second hand store before, it was across from the "Tomato Onion" restaraunt. What a great name that is. It is like a Japanese Denny's, a little bit of everything. Or maybe Japanese Double T diner, because they also serve alcohol at the Tomato Onion. I knew the store was kind of far away, but it was a beautiful day and I had nothing better to do than walk around.

So, off I went.



A tower near my apt. I wonder if I will get super powers living this close to such a large and multi-dished tower? I hope so! I want super-awesomeness! Oh wait, I already have that. Then I want the super power to speak Japanese!

Mom asked about cars in Japan. They are shorter and skinnier than American cars, but they seem taller, maybe that is because their other two dimensions are smaller. Anyway, here you go mom, some Japanese cars.



Shakey cuz there was a car veering dangerously close to me as I was taking this photograph.



Work trucks!



My favorite one. Look at how yellow it is! If that isn't a girls car, I will eat my hat.





Maybe I should have someone stand in the shot to show some perspective? Next time. Oh, and girl cars have all sorts of shit on the dashboards too. Like faux fur covering the dash and stuffed animals and all sorts of weird stuff. I must take a pic of a strange dashboard too.

Have I talked about the yellow lines in the sidewalk yet?



Everywhere there is a sidewalk there is a line of four raised dashes traveling the whole sidewalk. They are for blind people to feel so they don't walk into the road. At crossings they also have a series of bumps for the blind to feel that are different from the sidewalk bumps. I assume they are yellow for everyone else to see. They suck to ride a bike on by the way. When I say I feel like I am going to spill, yeah, mostly it is when I hit these bumps.



But everyone rides bikes in Japan. So I feel like I should be riding a bike.



Outside of a department store. Look at all those bikes. And this is 3:30 in the afternoon.

As I kept walking I passed by a KFC.



I was talking to some of my students about how great KFC biscuits were, so, of course, I had to stop in and get some chicken and a biscuit.




Two chicken strips meal, and a biscuit ordered extra (it is in the wrapper in the tray), total cost $8.50. Ouch. something I like about fast food in Japan, they bring you the food. You order and go sit down and they bring you out the tray. Makes me feel special.

The meal on the other hand made me feel as unspecial as any meal could possibly make me feel. The chicken was completely bland, no 27 secret herbs and spices on this chicken. Reminded me more of Long John Silver's chicken than KFC. Granted, it wasn't bad, just not what I expected. And the biscuit. No. No. No. Just no. Tasted nothing like an American KFC biscuit. And it had a hole in the center of it, it was like a biscuit donought! They give you maple syrup with the biscuit though, and that made it edible. All in all, if you ever come to Japan, I suggest you do not eat at KFC. Conversely, if you are in America, I suggest you do go to KFC and get a biscuit and enjoy its buttery goodness. And think of me and chortle at your good fortune.

Speaking of donoughts!



Mister Donought! I hear it is the one donought place in Tsuruga. And I think half of Tsuruga was in line in that place. There must have been two dozen people in line. I was going to try a donought, but no donought is worth a fifteen minute wait in line. That is my motto in life, "No donought is worth a fifteen minute wait in line."

Shortly after this I saw a tiny Japanese girl driving a big black motorcycle. Perhaps a Harley, maybe not, either way, it was a big road bike, not those little sport bikes that most people around here have. I fell in love with her for a fleeting moment this afternoon, and then she was gone. So I continued my walk.

Here is an awesome store!



An owl eyeglasses store! Lots of glasses stores in Japan. I really want a new pair of glasses. I wonder if insurance covers glasses? Must find out, can't afford $200 for glasses.

Then I walked by a porno store. Apparently, I was in the good part of town.




The poster in the upper right hand corner reads "Oh its a pretty hips!" Even when stuff is in English it is tough to decipher what is going on.

Hey a church!




I must be in the good part of town. How cool is the juxtaposition of Japanese architecture and a church? Also, that church was teeny tiny. And had a glass store window in the front. That was unusual.

So after about an hour of walking I still hadn't found the second hand store or Tomato Onion for that matter.

I walked by an abandoned and overgrown playground and broke out the artistic photos.




How cliched of me. Odd to see something this unkempt in Japan. This was about a block down the street from a Pachinko parlor, so maybe degenerate gamblers don't take care of playgrounds.




The tightly packed houses of "country town" Tsuruga. I can only imagine what Tokyo looks like.



Aww! Look how embarrassed that little doggie is that he pooped on the sidewalk! Dogs aren't allowed to poop in Japan.

Eventually found the second hand store. No bikes. But they did have clothes, and some cool clothes too. Man clothes are expensive in Japan! Used sneakers were still $50. I saw some Timbaland boots that were $178 used. That is almost $50 more than new in America. Used shirts were $30-40. Ouch. I think I am just going to order online when I need new clothes. And I know that I am at least going to need some new jeans, mine are already getting really loose. That is a good thing.

And they had used musical insturments. Man do I miss my guitar. I was this close to buying a bass guitar. I think I would have if I didn't feel like lugging both the bass and an amp the three miles back to my apt. The many benefits of walking around, no impulse purchases.

They also had these awesome stuffed animals



A giant eyeball headed thing. Yeah, what kid wouldn't love to cuddle up next to a giant eyeball?




Teddy bears with blood dripping from their mouths and off of their claws. How cute! And age appropriate.




My favorite, a giant disembodied bear's head wearing a cow print hat. WTF? Seriously, who would buy that for a child? Maybe these are adult stuffed animals and I just have no idea about Japanese culture.


At this point I had been walking for about an hour and a half, and the sky was getting pretty dark and foreboding looking, so after not finding anything at the store I hightailed (well, as hightailed it as possible when walking on foot (made it back in an hour and ten minutes!) it back to the apartment.

Observations from the day walking around:

My apartment and school are in the "old" part of town where nothing is. There are a ton more stores and restaraunts "across the bridge" on the other side of Tsuruga.

KFC in Japan sucks.

Clothes are cool but expensive. Oh, and they had a label for "American" clothes, it was flannel shirts and camo pants. American equals redneck I guess.

Two and a half hours is a long time to walk. My shoes are fantastic. I should buy another pair so I have them when these wear out.

Tiny Japanese women on big motorcycles are always hot.

Three day weekends rock! I think I get another one next month. Yay!

Boring week

I have done absolutely nothing blog-worthy this week (then again, what is really blog worthy? Isn't this just an exercise in ego masturbation, thinking people want to read about my life?)

I finally received my learning to read/write/speak Japanese books. Hopefully I will be able to pick those up quickly as I think it will improve my "real world" Japanese experience greatly. I feel like a retard at stores when I just grunt, nod, and hand my money over. It takes me forever to find stuff, and I have no way of asking. I bet there is a lot more to these stores than I am finding, I just have no way of knowing what is or isn't there. I feel like a Mexican. I think I have said that before.

I also received and finished in one day the final Harry Potter book. I don't know why I bother buying those books. I thought it would be nice to re-read the final book since I finished it so quickly last year. I would be able to read a little each night and really take my time and enjoy the experience of reading (since, you know, all the books and magazines here are in Japanese, and I don't read Japanese yet, so I don't get to read much). Well, that didn't happen. I got the book at 11am last Monday and read it all day Monday finally finishing at about 2 am. And I even told myself, just one more chapter then put it down, but one chapter turned into two, turned into twenty, and before I knew it I was done. Oh well, still a great book.

So, that is what I did this week. I worked. I played cards with one of my students and he destroyed me at games I made up to entertain him before class. Can you believe that? I made the rules and he still beats me, AT MY OWN GAME! He's a quick one, that kid. I am going to have to really beat him good one day to re-assert my dominance.

Tonight I went to the corner store after work and as I was walking down the hallway outside of the apartments I felt a blast of air on my head as I walked by one of the apartments. As far as I can tell every apartment in the building is the same layout. Front door, to the left of the front entrance, toilet room, across from that bathroom, then kitchen then bedroom. So that blast of air was the exhaust fan from the bathroom. Yep, I got a face full of poopin air!


Poopin air!?!?

And yes, when there is nothing else to talk about, you can always count on a poop story.