One year

I have now been in Japan for one year.

And this is what I have learned....



















...fuck all really.


Seriously. I mean, I have learned a little bit of Japanese, a very little bit. A frustratingly little bit. But, other than that, I haven't really learned anything. It has been a year. It hasn't been a profound experience. Japan isn't some kind of secret paradise that will reveal all of life's secrets to Western travelers. It is a place. It has people. It is basically the same as America in many many many ways. Apart from food, driving on the opposite side of the road, and having a completely indecipherable written language. Other than that, pretty much the same. Sure, I have experienced some new things (fed a monkey), seen some new things (temples, so many temples), and have been crushed on a train with hundreds of other people (Tokyo, anytime in Tokyo), but for me to say I have experienced an awakening of some sorts is completely douchtastic and not true.

But, my mom asked me some questions, so here are my answers.

What is the best thing about being in Japan?

Nothing I do really matters. It is kind of like being in a dream, in that it doesn't really feel real. No matter what I do here there are really no repercussions. If I fuck up at work, so what. If I act like an ass, so what. I will never see these people again. And anything I do can be written off as me being gaijin. It is very freeing to know people don't expect anything from you.

Also, I live a much simpler life here which is nice. I only have so much space, so I don't fill it with things. I basically spend money on food here. And once in a while new clothes online. But I spend much much less than I spent in America (not to mention no car so no gas to buy) and since I am earning more money than I earned while at the airport I am able to save money for something big and important (whatever that may be).


What is the worst?

Pretty much the same thing. Nothing I do here matters. Nobody I meet here will be a part of my life in a year. Nothing I do here will matter when I am back in America.

And I can't really be myself. All of my friends here are Japanese English speakers, so even though they can speak English very well, well enough that it is easy to communicate, they do not get jokes or sarcasm very well, and I miss being able to make jokes. I mean, I still make jokes, but most of them are my butchering Japanese. That seems to entertain them. Furthermore, they are all either my students or my co-workers, so I kind of have to be on my best behavior all the time. Or at least not cross a line. Even when we aren't at work I have to be aware of that and act accordingly. Very prohibitive sometimes.

Also, no live music. I miss going to shows.

What was the easiest part of my acclimation?

I don't know. Everything was pretty easy. It isn't all that different from being in America. I just can't understand it when people talk to me or read anything.

I guess the easiest thing was homesickness. I was never really homesick. Only for food. And I do miss pets. And I guess my parents too. But I was never really really homesick for America. Quite frankly, I sick and tired of my life for the past several years and I was glad to have a change.

What was the hardest part of getting acclimated?

Having to wear long sleeves all the time to cover my tattoos. Not only at work, but outside of work as well, just so I don't get stared at even more than I normally do. It is easy to tune out the normal stares, the double takes as they look at my arm, that is harder to ignore.

Most delightful moments

I don't know. I enjoyed a lot of things. Hanging out with new and interesting people. Eating new and interesting food. Maybe that is it, discovering new food. And I wonder why I am fat.

Also, monkeys.

Most difficult

Not being able to effectively communicate with people. It is frustrating for me and for the people I am trying to communicate with. Also, I feel like a baby a lot of the time, needing to ask my co-workers for help doing the most simple of tasks. I went to the bank last week to turn change in and needed to bring Kaori because I couldn't say, "I don't like this change. Please exchange these coins for paper money for me." I don't like being a burden on other people, and here I constantly feel that way.

Something that I have learned about myself

Like I said, nothing really.

Favorite thing to eat

Yaki tori. Grilled chicken or beef on a skewer. Or Yaki-onagiri. Grilled rice balls. Or basically Yaki-anything. The grilled food here is fantastic. And I always get french fries whenever I can, I like to sample the different fries around Japan. I also love chi-ji-mi, or the Korean version of an omelet. It is fantastic. Damn, now I am hungry.

Something I will not eat again

Whale. No taste. Chewy. And I think I am morally opposed to it.
Natto. Terrible texture. Awful smell.
Straight Shochu. Tastes like paint thinner. I wanted to cut my tongue out after drinking that vileness.

Special People

Hopefully they know who they are. The 7-up crew and my co-workers. Especially the co-workers I have now. I rely on them for many many things on a daily basis and they are always accommodating of my needs. I can't thank them enough.

People I would rather not have around

Well, this is a public forum so I am not going to say their names. But there are a half a dozen or so people that could drop off the face of the planet and I wouldn't give them another thought.

And the old bitch who ran her cart into me at the store not once, not twice, but three times. As if I wasn't even there.


And those are my opinions of the last year. Basically it went super fast. I don't feel like I have learned anything. I feel stupider everyday.

Also, I went bald this year. That was awesome.