Saturday, December 27, 2008

Oishi!

Christmas octopus was delicious!







But seriously, how damned classy am I in that suit?

Friday, December 26, 2008

Osaka for real

Jessica is here and I keep asking her to guest blog, but I guess she doesn't want to do that. She has been traveling all over the area, up to Kanazawa, down to Kyoto, around to different little towns and has many pictures and stories. I will keep bugging her I guess.

I, however, have had to work the past two weeks and therefore haven't been able to travel. But, we did get a three day weekend last weekend for the Emperor's birthday and we decided to go to Osaka. Osaka is about a two and a half hour train ride away, right on the edge of what I would classify as doable as a day trip. However, Osaka is one of the largest cities in Japan, third largest I think, behind Tokyo and another city that is connected to Tokyo, and has a famous nightlife so we decided to get a hotel and spend the night.

We started late because I went to the wrong platform for our train. So, we had to wait an hour at the train station for the next train. That sucked. And when the next train came the only open seats were on the smoking car. That sucked. Well, I need to clarify open seats, and this is something that kind of pisses me off quite frankly. In the unreserved cars people will sit and put their jacket and bag on the seat next to them instead of on the rack above the seats or on the floor between their feet.



Plenty of space for bags above the seats, and some people use them, but not many.

And granted, I know why they do this, so that they have more space and don't have to sit next to somebody. And I guess it is effective in Japan, they are so damned accommodating that they generally won't ask someone to move their stuff. Well, that shit is gonna end. There is no way I am either standing up for three hours or sitting in a smoking car for three hours on the way to and from Tokyo. Not gonna happen. Someone is gonna get looked at until they move their stuff. Damn being culturally appropriate.

Anyway, got to Osaka train station and man was it crowded! Got there on a Sunday evening at around 5 and it seemed like rush hour. I don't know if it was a light time but if it was I would hate to see it busy! Sooooo many people. The directions our hotel gave us told us to take a particular subway line, and one thing about Japan, generally really well marked in English, especially at train stations and in bigger cities. Not so much for our subway line. The rest of the subway lines had nice hanging signs from the ceiling so you could see them from far away and continue in the right direction as you were travelling. Our subway line, handwritten on cardboard and taped to the wall. Yeah, took us more than a couple of minutes to figure out where to go. And once we got to the subway place couldn't find where to buy tix. Luckily I have the amazing power of.....asking people. In English, not Japanese. Works everytime. "Where can I buy tickets?" "Over there [with a smile while grumbling something in Japanese that probably means retard]"

The subway ticket machines weren't so easy, as they were only in Japanese but we figured it out. The nice thing about Japanese trains/mass transit, you can pay the minimum fee to get thru the gate and then pay the extra on the way out. Very nice, all you have to do is figure out the minimum.

Speaking of nice, people in Japan are so nice. We weren't sure which way to go on the subway line and couldn't read any of the signs since they were in Kanji. So, using my amazing asking powers I asked someone standing in line for the train (I have mentioned they line up for the trains in neat little orderly lines, not just crammed on the platform, and the trains are so exact they have little spots to line up at knowing that is exactly where the train will stop every time) if they could tell us the direction to go in for our stop. Well, this couple was trying to help us so much that their train came and went and they didn't even pause to consider getting on it. Eventually we saw a sign and were able to figure out which way to go. And turns out the next train was about a minute behing the last train, so no biggie to have missed it, but still, pretty nice of them.

Got off the train, didn't know where to go, went out and used my superpowers once again. Lady I asked didn't know where hotel was, so she took it upon herself to ask three other people where the hotel was until someone knew exactly where to go. Amazing how helpful they are.

Got to the hotel no problem, got checked in and got a great room. Well, I considered it great. Twin beds, heated toilet, satellite radio. What more could you ask for? Speaking of the satellite radio, it was possibly the highlight of my trip. Not because it was so great, there were some good stations on there, they had a classic rock station, an all Beatles station, some live feeds from stations in LA and NYC (both "urban hits" stations unfortunately) but they also had entire stations dedicated to: the Happy Birthday song, over and over and over on a loop (Do you know how short the birthday song is and how much that must repeat, that is a good way to torture somebody, and I did for about 5 minutes until it was torturing me as well), the Rocky theme in case you need to get pumped up for a big meeting I guess, a station of birdcalls, a station called mother's heartbeat that sounded like you were in the womb, that is creepy as hell, a station called "music for pets," all these fantastic strange (okay, Japanese) things. I loved it and spent hours playing around with the different channels on the radio.

This is going to be the worst Osaka post ever, I am just going to talk about the hotel and the toilet.



Here is the sign on the bathroom. I love it "you will upset the other Hotel's clients" not this hotel's clients, the "other hotel's clients." I imagine the fire alarm going off in the hotel down the block and people getting mad.




The tiny yugata they give you to relax in. Basically like a light bathrobe except not absorbant. Also, maybe only tiny to me.

Oh yeah, and Osaka, epicenter of Yakuza, so no short sleeves for me there, EVER. Guess I won't be going back in the summer anytime soon.



The amazing fancy Japanese toilet. With heated seat and buttons for "bidet" and "shower." I can't express how much I love these toilets. They are so nice. Why don't we have these in America? Almost every hotel and many restaraunts have these toilets, and from what I can tell, most people's homes have them as well. they are just fantastic. Some even have automatic seats so you never have to touch the filthy filthy dirty toilet with your hands, just the buttons.



The control panel. It is like sitting on the Enterprise. I don't know if you can tell from this pic, but the bidet pic is water shooting up a man's ass. The knob on the front controls how strong you want the water, and the lights in the back control how warm the seat is, warm or hot. Yeah, fantastic!

Mind you, it is a bit disconcerting to feel the water hit you at first, but it is just nice and I feel so darned clean afterwards.



When that first stream hits you this is the face you make.

The one thing I don't like about the toilet, and this might be a small thing, but look at this



The seat of the toilet half overhangs the rim of the bowl. So, if you sit down with your ass centered you are going to pee on the rim of the toilet and then all over the floor and be disgusting. So, if you want to do both 1 and 2 (see mom, I am trying to keep it as clean as possible) you have to move around a lot, back and forth and that is just not the grand experience I am looking for. This has happened to me with many of these toilets, I think it is because the electronic part is an aftermarket add-on to a standard toilet bowl set up and the bowls are shorter than the seat contraption. Either way, not ideal.

Well, time to get going. My computer time for the day is up. Wasn't Osaka fun?

Last thing, apparently I brush my teeth funnily.



What?

and I guess this blog title is misleading. Oh well, will write more when I get a chance. Going to Tokyo tomorrow until after the new year so maybe not for quite a while. But at least I will have lots to write about when I get back.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Osaka peeview

Jessica is here, and while we are having fun I don't really have any down time to write about it.

Well, she is having fun traveling (I am way jealous) and I am still at work.

However, had a three day weekend and got to go to Osaka.


Here's the preview!





Crazy lights!




Giant crab and Alex acting the fool, as usual.



Even the Japanese have racist Japanese depictions.


Big man in a little bathrobe.



March of the pengis!



These cheese fries taste neither cheesy nor fry-y. They taste like stale paper.



Hello sexy!



Purple jellyfish!



I like turtles!




Osaka Castle



Awesome heated seat toilet in the hotel room. And has a bidet too!



Rat statue!



They had Dr. Pepper in Osaka. I want to live in Osaka and drown myself in Peppery goodness!


More crazy neon. If Osaka is the third largest city in Japan and is this lit up every night I can't wait to see what Tokyo is like.



Jessica says "Don't take my picture, nerd." Also, Starbucks overpriced gingerbread latte deliciousness.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

A Riches of Embarrassment!

It has been crazy busy this week at school, but not in any fun or funny way. I had a new student sign up (yay! Money coming into the school makes my manager happy, money makes Geos happy, I am happy because I didn't scare off a potential new student like I felt I have done before. Boo! More work for me) and she comes in at 9pm twice a week, meaning I don't get home until 10:30-11:00 three out of five days a week now. Yuck! And that isn't even the big problem, the big problem is that there are two grocery stores in Tsuruga within walking distance of my apartment. One of them closes at 9, the other at 10. When I don't get out of school until after 10 I have to make sure I already have food at home or got spend 1000 yen for chicken and curry. Which quite frankly I love, but fried chicken every night, even I know that isn't good for you.

Oh, and they closed the Lawson's convienence store that is a block away from my house! That place was open 24 hours and push comes to shove I could always go there and pick up something to eat. But not now! Closed for remodeling is what I have heard, but they closed another one for remodeling and tore the whole building down and now it is an empty lot and has been that way for three months. (yes, closed down the week after I got to Tsuruga for anyone keeping track of time) Biggest problem, I pay my bills at that Lawson's so now I have to walk to the other side of town to pay my bills. Today. Because they are due this week and I won't have time otherwise. Man, hope it isn't raining out.

Speaking of which, got a new pair of waterproof boots! Thanks, Mom!

Check out these badass boots!



Well, one of them anyway. Not enough room in the front of the apt. to photograph both boots at once. Yeah, they are sweet! And comfy too.

Anyway, busy at school. This week was Challenge Kids week where we gave tests to the kid students so they could see their progress. Well, mostly their parents could see their progress. The tests were easy peasy and most of the kids did great on them. Well, that and the fact is that there is one table in my room and it is impossible for me to keep them from cheating. Plus I can't speak Japanese and they are constantly chattering about in their native language. Apparently I have no authority and when I say, "shhhh," or, "No talking," it means no talking in English.

Anyway, the tests went fine for the most part. My pre-school class didn't really feel like taking the test, shocker three and four year olds don't want to sit down and listen to me talk for 40 minutes while they circle things on their paper. Yeah, I couldn't believe it either. I mean, just look at my face, that is the face of shock right there.



Yeah.

One of my pre-schoolers simply circled every single picture on his test, and when that was done he folded it up into a little square and pushed it onto the floor and then proceeded to walk around the class for the next 20 minutes asking when we would sing the "pokey pokey" song (hokey pokey, but come on, the pokey pokey, how cute is that?). Another one simply drew on the test instead of completing the questions. Yeah, so written tests for 3 year olds, not the best idea. In my humble opinion that is.

The real problem with the tests was not administering them, although that was a pain in my ass since I had to speak the whole thing. Geos is cutting costs, in past years they made a cd of the spoken parts but this year left it up to the teachers to speak the whole thing. The real hassle was having to grade the tests and leave feedback for the students. Grading easy, 3-5 minutes per test, adding the evaluations, yeah those take 5-10 minutes per student, so about 15 minutes a test, multiply by 30 tests and suddenly all of my time is being eaten away by grading. Which means I am hurrying to prep for other classes and am basically work working for the entire time I am at school instead of working and having some downtime to get something to eat or go shopping etc. Yeah, very busy week. And while the tests aren't technically due back until two weeks from now allowing for next week for grading as well, my manager got transferred to a different school and was leaving Saturday so I had to get the tests done so she could translate them into Japanese.

Yeah, my manager got transferred back to her hometown this week. It was a good thing, she needed to go home to help her mom take care of their animals. Her mom took a job in another city so she would be gone during the week with no one to look after the pets so my manager had to go take care of em. Yeah, that is weird right, that people in Japan live where they work during the week and then come "home" during the weekend. I have a student who is doing that now, he lives in an apartment in Osaka during the week and them comes home to his family on the weekend. And in his Osaka apartment, no bathroom. Shared bathroom. Eech! Sharing a bathroom with a floor full of other guys, I assume it is like a dorm situation, but lord knows after college, who would want to live like that?

So my manager transferred. She found out about it on Friday and moved Sunday. Yeah, that's a lot of notice. A bunch of us went out on Saturday night to say goodbye to her. That was fun. Honestly, I am going to miss her. She was a good manager and a good person. She was always willing to help me out, not just with work things but with my personal stuff too. Helping me get my mail, showing me how and where to get things done. And besides, she was the very first person I met here.

Also, the JET, the Japanese English Teacher, quit last week. Quit for real. She had talked about wanting to quit for awhile now, and has been "sick" for the last three weeks after the company asked her to stay on through the new year until they could find a replacement. Guess that wasn't what she was looking to do and so she quit this week.

What does that all mean for ol' Alex? I am the old timer in Tsuruga now! After three months. Wow. I know that Geos has a high turnover rate, well once a year pretty much, but this is ridiculous.

Then, on Sunday I went to a former student's wedding party. She got married two or so months ago and Sunday was her party for her friends (and former teachers apparently). I was supposed to go with Steven and therefore have someone to talk to in English. Well, Steven did attend the party but was completely hung over and not in the mood to converse so I was forced to talk to other people. Nice to get outside of the comfort zone. Had to try to make conversation with other people, and Japanese people will tell you they can't speak English, but many many can speak some English and enough to communicate. I met a girl who could speak English very well, and she helped me out most of the evening by translating when there were speeches and helping me to read when ordering booze. In my defense, I can pretty much read Hiragana and Katakana at this point (not Kanji) but it takes me forever to read and then half the time I don't know what the word means in Japanese so still tough to read. However she was helping me out, having a good time, good conversation, she is studying to be an English teacher so that was something else to talk about. Plus, she lives in Tsuruga. That is cool. Ask her if she wants to hang out sometime in Tsuruga, practice English conversation and then Japanese conversation for me. Says she'll have to ask her dad (huh?) because she is only 17 and doesn't have a driver's license yet. Whahuh?

Yup. Hitting on a 17 year old. Smart. Dammit, I told you that I can't tell anyone's age in this country!

Well, soon (but not soon enough) after that embarrassment, the party wound down and most of the people went home or whatnot. But a few people were going to go out and have some more drinks at a bar and my former student, let's call her Nami because that is her name, invited me along.

Of course I wanted to have some more drinks! In this group the only people who could speak English with any kind of ability were myself and Nami so as we sat and drank and ate (in Japan you don't just go out for drinks, you go out drinking and eat too) she was appointed the translator between the rest of the group and myself. There we are sitting in this tiny little room (that is another thing I love about Japan, at most restaurants and bars they have little rooms for each table so you can't see the other parties in the place (which would have been fantastic for my ex who refused to go to places that didn't have other people in them, she didn't trust the quality of food I guess, but she would never be able to tell in Japan. Bwahahaha!) and they just feel cozier, you can relax and have a good time because the only people that can see you are the people in your group. I like that idea a lot.) and drinking and having a good time when one of the guys in the group asks me a question and Nami's face goes red, she doesn't know how to translate it. Or rather, she knows how to translate it, but it is completely filthy and she doesn't want to say it to me. And this then became the game dujour. Tell Alex something inappropriate and make Nami translate it for him. I learned many many dirty words and phrases last night and also saw perhaps the most embarrassed woman in the world. One of the most fun nights I have had since I got here.

All in all, busy week, but good. And Jessica comes this Friday! Very excited! Friendly face from back home! Christmas company! My good friend coming to visit me and we get to go around Japan doing touristy stuff! I can't tell you how much I am looking forward to seeing her and getting to go to Tokyo and Mt. Fuji (even if it is the middle of the winter and we won't be all that close to Mt. Fuji, and certainly not able to climb it).

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Three months later

I have been here for a little over three months. And here is what I have learned so far.

1) Japanese food is good, not great. Nothing I have eaten has been fantastically good or horribly bad. Well, besides the seashell intestine, that was horrid. I am enjoying finding new foods that I have never eaten before and I am sure that in the future wherever I live I will be seeking out a Japanese restaurant once in a while to eat some good food. That said, they don't use much spice and that makes me sad. I want spices! It is hilarious to me how little spice my Japanese friends can handle. The other day one was raving about how hot these jalapeno potato chips she had were. Well, I found them at the store, bought a bag, and....about as spicy as American barbeque chips. I could have eaten a dozen bags of those chips without breaking a sweat (well, without breaking a spice sweat. I would have definitely had broken out in the fat guy sweats after a dozen bags of chips). So, food, pretty good, nothing flavorful enough to be considered great. But, all pretty tasty. Especially croquettes. Yum! Deep fried mashed potatoes, why aren't these things in America?

2) However, nothing compares to the variety of food you can get in America. I miss variety. Everyday it is the same thing, rice, fish, and a cabbage based salad (yeah, that is another thing, salad without lettuce, just cabbage, I have never had worse farts in my life). To drink, green tea, cola, or orange or grape flavored soda. There is an Italian restaurant but it serves six varieties of the same pasta, all marinara sauce and thin noodles. One variety has fish on it, one has beef, one has vegetables, one has a fried egg on top. Where is the manicotti? Where is the eggplant parm? Where is the alfredo? Where is the variety of food? That is really what I miss the most about America. If I want a taco, I can easily find a Mexican place. Likewise for Italian, Chinese, Thai, etc. Here, at least in Tsuruga, nope. And the grocery stores don't have that variety either. I think it is because Japan is such a uniform society it even spreads to what they eat.

3) Speaking of which, the uniformity. It is amazing how similar everyone looks (yeah, and I don't just mean they look short and yellow, I am racist but not in this case). They all dress the same, they all have similar haircuts, and they simply don't make waves. The kids not only dress in uniforms for school but they wear the uniforms after school and on the weekend too. Every person has the same puffy down jacket with a fur lined hood.



Well, at least they wear different colors.

I haven't seen one person trying to "look different" in all of Tsuruga. I mean, I know it is a small town, but even in Frederick there were different cliques. Hell, even in Walkersville there were different groups of people who dressed and acted differently. Here, not the case, all the teens look and act the same, all the adults look and act the same. I mean, you can def. tell the blue collar from the white collar workers, but that is only because the white collar workers are always wearing suits. This society is definitely a nail standing up gets hammered down place. I have been reading and it seems to stem from their agricultural ancestry. Japan is a really inhospitable place to live. It is an island built by a volcanic mountain and the entire middle of the country is mountainous and difficult to transverse. Hell, even now, driving from Fukui to Tsuruga last weekend, I was on the windiest road going along the side of the mountain I have ever seen. I swear there would be a 200 degree curve to the left, immediately followed by a 150 degree curve to the right, immediately followed by another S curve, and then another. I think we probably traveled 75 miles to go 30 miles. Imagine trying to get through mountains before cars, simply walking. Hence, communities had to rely on every member of that community to help farm and reap the crops to ensure they could eat during the winter. Everyone had to work together and there was no room for individuality. Pretty much the exact opposite of America where the independent settler who decided to move west was considered the ideal. And I think that mentality has persisted to today. At least what I have seen so far.

4) That mentality of not wanting to stand out translates to my classroom as well. One of the biggest problems I am having at work is getting people to ask me questions when they don't understand something. They are embarrassed or ashamed that they don't understand something that their classmates do and therefore don't ask any questions. And then after class they complain to my manager that they didn't understand some of the stuff I was going over. And then I get yelled at for not stopping to explain to them. Well, dammit, I can't read their minds. I stop and ask if anyone has questions constantly and if that still isn't good enough, well, I don't know what to do. I can only do so much, and if they want to know stuff they are going to have to learn to ask questions.

Even my kid students just want to be like one another. We were making christmas decorations and in a class of three people, one would start drawing something and the other two would simply copy the first student. Easy to tell the leader in each class that way let me tell ya. And then, in other classes, the students would look at what kids in previous classes had done and simply copy that. Here is the Christmas tree in my classroom


How many exact same snowmen can you count? How about the black bomb ornament on the bottom left? Yeah, that is different, and I appreciate that one even though the kid drew all over my table making it.


5) I don't feel like a giant walking around. However, I do feel like a freak of nature when I try to buy clothes. I know I have lost a little bit of weight, my pants are loose on my and I have had to go down a notch or two on my belt, but you would think I am the fattest thing that has ever walked into a store here. I buy XL clothes and they are skin tight. The arms are short on my sweatshirts, the legs are short on my pants, and they simply have no crotch room (and I am not saying I have a huge crotch either). I understand that they are a slimmer people than me, however, shouldn't an XL still be for fat guys? That is what I don't understand. And I have seen fatter guys than me. And taller guys too. And guys with bigger feet. Where are these guys shopping? And can they take me? I am going to have to start going up to fatties and asking where they got their clothes. Awkward.

6) Oh, and I get stared at all the time too. That is fun. Especially by kids. Works to my advantage sometimes, I think I get preferential treatment because they just assume I am a big dumb American and can't understand better. I usually don't have to bag my own groceries, they double check with me when I buy medicine, etc. Pretty nice. Oh, did I mention you have to bag your own groceries here? Yeah, that is weird to me for some reason.

7) Japan is expensive. I don't care what any book tells ya, this society is set up to be expensive. Everything is seperate so it is hard to do all your shopping at once. The grocery stores sell smaller portions (good thing for a single guy who doesn't like leftovers) so it is hard to do a week's worth of grocery shopping at once. And I know for me it is impossible to go into a store for one item and walk out with only one item.

Clothing and household goods stores are the same way. There is no Wal-Mart as clear as I can tell so you have to go to many different stores to get what you need, and that makes it expensive. Maybe I am just a bad shopper.

Oh, and eating out isn't expensive per se, but you pay for one little dish and they bring it out and then you order another one, and so on, and so on, and at the end of the night you have ended up spending $40.

8) The Japanese people are too nice. Speaking of spending $40 on a meal, that is my cut when we go out to eat as a group. Multiply $40 by 4 or 5 people and you get...hold on, let me do the math....$500 bar tab! Wait, that can't be right. And I am the only one that drinks, or I am the one that drinks the most. I will have 4 or 5 beers, the rest of the group might have one each, and yet we all end up paying the same $40 cut. I feel like an asshole when they do that, but they won't allow me to pay for my fair share. They are too nice. And they really are, all of my students are really nice and helpful and constantly offering to take me places or help me to do things, it is a really good feeling. They kind of feel like a family over here, which is good when I am so far away from my family.

Hell, even my kid students are super helpful. One of my favorite things to do is practice my Japanese around my kids. They crack up when I speak Japanese and always encourage me to perfect my pronunciation. Yeah, I am a clown to the kids, but that is okay.

9) Japan is not very "foreign." I don't know what I was expecting when I came here, Samurai and ninjas running around. Geishas at every door. Everyone wearing Kimonos (which nobody wears because they are super expensive and a giant pain in the ass to dress in. One of my students dresses in a Kimono for her job, she is a traditional Japanese dance instructor, and she says it takes her 20 minutes to put it on, and she does it every week, normal people who only wear the Kimono for special occasions might take up to an hour to properly put it on, and need multiple people to help). Yeah, except for the fact that everyone speaks Japanese, eats with chopsticks, and drives on the wrong side of the road, it could be America. Well, minus all those other things I was talking about earlier. But on a day to day basis, I don't feel like I am in a foreign country. I don't feel the "foreign-ness." I am looking forward to Jessica's observations when she visits on how different Japan feels from America.

I guess any first world country would probably feel the same way. It isn't like I am in freaking Afghanistan or Peru with people running around in barefeet chasing after mountain goats. The real differences I feel are with the architecture of the buildings and the trees. The trees are much taller and skinnier than in America. And way more heavily packed togther. I have been eyeing trying to hike up one of the mountains around Tsuruga, but the damned forest is simply too dense to travel through.

Also, it rains too much. Grr. I didn't know I was moving to Seattle.

10) Which brings me to another thing I have discovered, it is a giant pain in the ass to not have a car when it is raining. Many of my decisions are based around if I am willing to go out in the rain or not. Today I was thinking of going to look for some inexpensive shirts, but it was raining all day and I didn't feel like walking the three to five miles it would be to get to the store and back in the rain, so what did I do? I stayed in bed and watched TV all day.

I have completely underestimated how chilly I get walking to and from work. Definitely need to invest in some more layers. Good thing I had worked at the airport in the freezing ass night for the last couple years, used to layering.

11) The last thing I have noticed is race. Or rather my lack of noticing race. I don't really know how to say this without sounding like a racist, and maybe it is, but in America I always noticed race. I don't think I judged people based on it, but I always noticed it. It is hard not to. A black person looks different from a white person who looks different from a hispanic or asian person. I mean fuck it, that is the truth. People of different races look different and it is one of the first things you notice. Just like you note if a person is a man or a woman or young or old.

However, here, EVERYONE looks the same. And I do mean everyone. They are all Asian. Except for about a dozen whiteys, all of whom I think I met last week at my Japanese school, eveyone I come into contact with on a daily basis is Japanese. And the thing is, I feel like I don't think of them as Asian. They are just the people that live around here. And I think that is kind of cool. Or maybe I am just an ass and really am a racist.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

What I woke up to this morning

Heading out the door to work and what do I see?








Got a couple of centimeters (I am in Japan after all) of snow over night. Nice wet, heavy, sloppy snow that is perfect for snowballs but not so fun to walk through in sneakers.

And still no waterproof boots since I am such a huge footed monster over here that no place carries my size.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Sick, again


Pearls before Swine 08/11/17

Yup.

Another week, and I am sick, a-fucking-gain. I mean, come on, why am I always sick here? Well, I know why, I sleep like shit and eat worse. I work too much and never exercise. But I do take vitamins! So at least I have that going for me.

Went to Mos Burger over the weekend. I was looking for a relatively cheap printer so I can print out some artwork for my walls (bare walls are super depressing) and also looking for some boots for the upcoming rainy/snowy winter. I am not looking forward to walking to work in sneakers and having my socks get wet. Well, no luck finding boots. Went to four shoe stores and the largest size they carry is 27 cm. I am 28.5 cm here, and apparently am Big Foot to these people (what do you mean by these people?) and that is only 10 and a half in the states. That is middle of the pack for the U.S. How do Japanese people not tip over on those little hooves they call feet? Grrr. That means I am going to have to order a pair of shoes online and eat the shipping cost. Ouch. Or get mommy to send a pair and eat that shipping cost too.

I did find an awesome pair of bright green jeans



This picture does them no justice, they were almost neon bright. And they could be yours for the low low price of 7200 yen (are you kidding me $72 for those! used bright green jeans. I am telling you, the way to make money in this country is to ship over used jeans and sell them to vintage clothing stores).

Oh, but Mos Burger. It is the Japanese version of McDonalds, in that it is a fast food burger (or hambahga as it is pronounced in Japanese) joint. But look at this set up



Whoops, already took a bite out of it before I thought to take a picture. This is my meal, cost me 800 yen by the way (ouch). Basic cheeseburger, but had a lot of "secret sauce"/mayonnaise, relish, and ketchup on it and a giant tomato. Bun was toasted, but not crispy, just tasted kind of stale on the edges, not great. Overall, the burger was pretty good though, I would order it again, maybe I just got a stale-ish bun. Sack of fries, pretty good, but not crispy enough for my taste, and my cola came in a glass. A glass glass! That to me is unbelievable. Can you imagine McDonalds serving their drinks in a glass. Of course, no ketchup for the fries, but the secret sauce served as a pretty good dipping substitute. After my meal was finished I couldn't figure out where to put my tray. There was a trash can with a tray on top of it, glass and all, but there wasn't room for me to put my tray there as well. So, I start heading over towards the trash can to try to find a way to put my tray beside or on top of the other tray and the guy behind the counter runs out and starts apologizing (at least I think he was, from what I could catch) and bowing and takes my tray. I think I insulted him somehow by busing my own tray. Whoops, hope he doesn't get fired.

No luck finding a cheap printer. But I did find some relatively inexpensive monitors, and I might splurge on a second monitor for the laptop so I can watch tv and surf the internet at the same time. I love my tv, and frankly, when I have to choose between being productive and doing stuff online and watching tv, tv usually winds up winning. Two monitors would alleviate this problem. Of course, spending $150 for a monitor that I am going to use for maybe 8 months, I dunno. Oh well, I will figure it out, always do.

I think I might partially be sick because I don't wear a coat to work. I go into work at around noon so it is nice and sunny and warm, or not cold I guess. So I never think to take a coat. But, by the time I leave work at 10 at night it is pretty danged chilly. So, I bought the Japanese scarf/headwrap/hat



Damn I am good looking. It is especially nice when my hair pops out. You see people running around in giant hats in this country, I guess because they have such thick hair, and most of the guys (younger guys) have longer hair that they need big hats to put it all under. Yeah, the guys look like anime characters. So do the young women for that matter.

Speaking of which, that is the thing that is driving me the most crazy being over here. The women (well that and the lack of decent pizza). Every freaking woman from 15-35 looks the same. It is like they don't age during those years. I think it is because they don't have curves to speak of, so teen girls look the same as women. But seriously, it is impossible to tell how old a woman on the street is. Yes, the school aged girls wear the sailor schoolgirl outfit, but so do older women. (And I wanted to show a picture to demonstrate what I was talking about, so I typed in Japanese schoolgirl outfit into google. Yeah....not what I was looking for, and now I feel like a pervert.) I had a student the other day wearing the skirt and tights look that high school girls wear. I had previously assumed this woman was in her mid 20s, but she was talking about her kid being in high school. What! She might be 40 for all I know. It is impossible to tell! And as I have said before they all wear shorts or a short skirt and tall boots, every freaking one of em. Hell, I even have 6 and 7 year old girls in my classes wearing the same outfits. I guess Japan is such a uniform place that everyone just wants to look the same, well good for them, but it is making me insane, last thing I want to do is holler at some 15 year old on the street and get thrown in Japanese jail. "I swear officer, I thought she was 35!"

Guess I will have to stick to bars. If I see em drinking they are old enough to talk to. Plus, added bonus, the more they drink the better I look.


Here is a Volvo dealership I walk by when I go to the other side of Tsuruga



The rest of the showroom is all these brand new cars, but they have this old ass Volvo sitting in there as well. Why? I dunno, but it reminds me of being a kid, looks just like the one (two) Dad used to have. Right down to those awful plastic ladder headrests.

Went to Fukui today. Fukui is the large city in this region, and the city the region is named after. Located just above Sabae, and Steven, the Sabae teacher I hang out with told me that there are good stores up there. There was also supposed to be a good sale this weekend at one of the department stores since it is owned by the same company that owns the baseball team the Lions, who just won the Japanese world series. That is pretty cool in my book, team wins, sales for everybody! Combined with the fact that I am still looking for a nice raincoat and boots, I headed up there. One hour by local train, $10 each way. Not bad.

Got to Fukui and of course it is pouring rain. It was overcast in Tsuruga, but it is generally overcast so I didn't bring my umbrella. Didn't want to lug it around all over the place. Luckily most of their streets have the lovely overhangs that Tsuruga does and I was able to stay dry for the most part. Went to the department store that I had heard about, and that place was PACKED! There were tons and tons of people shopping. I guess the deals were pretty good. I got two ties for $21 each, half price. Yes, I bought ties, god I am such an old man. Saw a really nice rain coat, and it was on sale for 20% off, only 451 bucks! Ouch. They also had a Burberry store in the department store. have I explained how department stores are like malls without individual stores? I am too lazy to go back and look, but basically the big store building is divided into little boutique stores inside, but not by walls or anything, just by divisions. For instance, you might go into Target (or you might not if you hate the French and funkily designed goods) and go to the men's department and then the vitamins, and then the toy department and then go to a register at the front of the store to check out . Well, here, all of those different departments are different stores, each with their own registers and bags and you have to pay for each thing you buy at its particular area. Kind of confusing, and kind of annoying to have to stand in three or four seperate lines, but whatever. I also bought a ton of stickers for the kids in my class to put on their homework sheets. I bought letter stickers previously, but so many kids have I's, U's, and K's that I needed to refresh those letters. Yeah, g, l, and r, getting no love. Oh, v either.

On the train ride up, in every town we would go through I would see a Leopalace near the train tracks. I guess that is why they are such cheap apartments, they are all near the train tracks. I feel lucky that my apartment building at least has a street and buildings on the other side of the street to buffer me from the sound of trains. Some of the Leopalaces were less than 100 yards off of the train tracks with nothing but a field between them and the sounds of trains rumbling by at all hourse of the day. One good thing about trains in Japan, no whistles. No warning horns when they are crossing a street. So, relatively quiet, at least compared to trains in America.

I bought a bottle of tea today and this was attached to it



A miniature figurine of a stewardess. I think there is an airplane movie coming out, or just released, here and to promote it I guess they are giving away stewardess figurines. Celebrating all their different uniforms. This hideous orange outfit is from, you guessed it, the swinging 70s. I don't know why she has bright blue hair. Maybe she is a grandmother. But she looks 20 you say. Exactly!

Another weird food thing, Men's chocolate



Had to buy it. Pocky is actually really good, it is pretzel rods covered in chocolate. This is just dark chocolate instead of milk chocolate, but apparently that is too strong for the delicate sensibilities of women and children. I want them to label food in America for Men and Women. Like yogurt, "Yoplait, for Women!" Are you a man, why are you buying Yoplait?


Speaking of food, I know everyone loves me eating gross food



About to chow down on that giant raw fish. Why I always close one eye when I pose for pictures i will never know. I look like goddamned popeye.

I also ate seashell guts. I don't know how else to explain it. You know a seashell you pick up at the beach and hold up to your ear and you can hear the ocean, yeah, I ate whatever lived in that. Including its guts. Its black, disgusting looking intestines with whatever it ate right before it was dragged off the ocean floor and put on my plate still in it. Otherwise, its poop. And guess what it tasted like? Shit. It was nasty. That is the closest I have come to throwing up since I have been here. Not only did it taste awful, but the texture, oh god, the texture. it was like eating wet, fishy smelling sand.

And my friend said, "Yeah, I used to not like the taste either, but you get used to it after awhile." Hello! That is nasty, why would you eat that again? What happened, was she force fed seashell guts until she started to enjoy them? What have I gotten myself into?

Yup, so that is what has been going on lately. Aren't you glad you asked?



Gave him the standard: "Yo, what up man, how you landin'?"
And the hypnotized response was no surprise: "I maintain"
"Yeah we all do, that's the standardized refrain
but on some really real man, good to see you, really, what the dealy deal?"

El-P "Tasmanian Pain Coaster"

Monday, November 3, 2008

Kyoto day trip.......start

The problem with one of these long photo heavy blogs is that it takes forever to write. So without further ado, here is the trip I took to Kyoto on Monday, in pictures without captions. I will be adding details throughout the week, maybe in little bits and pieces, maybe all at once, who knows. All I know is right now I am about to take a handful of Tylenol PM and get ready for work tomorrow.

Why? Because the first thing I did this morning was trip down the stairs from my bed and rail my knee against the corner of my desk.



My treacherous stairs from my bed and the damned desk. They don't look all that dangerous.



Ahh, but they are deceptive. Notice how small and triangular they are. Yes, and my sleepy ass must have missed that top corner cuz next thing I know my knee tried to destroy the desk and lost, and I was hobbling around wondering if I broke my kneecap.



Aww, ya big wuss, that doesn't look so bad.

But what about from this angle?



Yesh, look at that lump! And this is 8 hours later.

But I wasn't going to let that stop me from going to Kyoto. Mainly because I heard there was a Burger King there and man could I go for a whopper and onion rings! Did I find it? Did I have fun in Kyoto? Did I hobble around like an old man? Stay tuned to find out! Except the last question, the answer is yes, yes I did hobble around like an old man.




Start!


Kyoto.

Kyoto is a very famous city in Japan for being old and full of temples. Apparently it was one of the only places in Japan not completely bombed out during WWII and then rebuilt in the 1950s. Therefore it has lots of old architecture and many many many temples from hundreds if not thousands of years ago. So that is pretty cool. Also, they apparently have a Burger King.



Some pictures of the mountains and trees heading from Tsuruga to Kyoto on the bullet train. Yup, got to ride a bullet train. Not the super fast bullet train, but a limited express bullet train that goes like 75 mph and makes no stops between Tsuruga and Kyoto. How nice is that? Tsuruga must be the next big place after Kyoto. Either that or the halfway point between Kyoto and Kanazawa (the other big city near me).








Going right by the ocean. Houses within 15 feet of the water. No beach per se. Just a small strip of rocky sand. From the little I could see of course.



Kind of like the speed blurry telephone pole on this one.

Get to Kyoto and first thing I have to do is walk up about 30 steps in the train station. Kyoto train station is huge and super busy compared to Tsuruga. Apparently Tsuruga is tiny. Kyoto train station reminded me of Grand Central station in NYC. It was huge, had many levels, and there were local trains, bullet trains, subways, and a bus depot all in the same place. Suffice it to say there were many many short yellow people running around, even on a Monday afternoon. Oh, and it was WAY better at 5:30 on the way back. There were traffic jams of people because tourists were stopping to take pictures of the lights (they have Christmas lights up, just like in America!) right in the middle of the walkway as hundreds of people were trying to get around them, and the Japanese are too polite to tell them to fuck off and keep moving so they just stop and one at a time walk around these people.

...anyway, had to walk up some stairs which is the first time I realized just how debilitating my knee was going to be. Knee not so bad walking, but bending and putting weight on it to go up stairs, not so much. I hobbled up the stairs like an old man while polite Japanese people were being slowed down behind me, but not a single person tried to move around me. It is a different world over here, I tell ya.




This is a tiny alley behind someone's home with a ton of empty beer bottles stacked in crates. Yup, they love their beer over here. Nah, I am sure this is a resturaunt, but the fact remains, could you imagine just leaving all that breakable glass outside of a bar in America? You would come outside to drunkards breaking glass all night long. I know I would do that. Man I love smashing stuff. I miss being a baggage handler sometimes.

Here is the deal with my pictures. I love having a digital camera. I love that I can take a picture of anything I want and not have to worry about wasting film. I love that it is so easy and convienent. I hate how big my camera is and how afraid of scratching the lcd view screen I am. I am such a slave to technology. On this trip I had my keys and coin cash, which by the way, I both love and hate that they use coins for one and five dollars here, but that is a rant for another time, in my front right pocket and therefore that pocket was uninhabitable for any gadgets. My front left pocket had my notebook with handy dandy travel phrases (such as, "When is the next train?" "Where is the train station?" and "Do you speak English?" but unfortunately not "where is Burger King?"), my cell phone and my ipod. My back pocket housed my camera and my wallet. Now, that is a crap load of stuff to have in your pockets. Oh, and I also had a book bag in case I bought anything, easier to carry it on the back then lug around a plastic shopping bag, so with all that crap in my pockets weighing me down, and a mostly empty backpack (contents: Katakana flash cards, Japanese lessons homework, one bottle of Coke, one empty bottle of Fanta orange soda, one empty bottle of green tea (important to note, full bottles before one hour train ride), tylenol, and peanuts for snacking.) after about an hour and half of walking around, I decided to put my camera and phone in my backpack. Figured if I found something cool, I would take the time to get the camera out and take a picture of it. Yeah, not so much. You will see.

Okay, back to Kyoto. Get off the train, go up the stairs in the massive and busy train station. Wander around looking for an exit, see many people going one direction, follow them. That is almost always my general plan for navigating an unknown area, follow the herd of people. I find my way outside of the station and....well...not impressed. Looks like any other place I have been in Japan. Lots of tightly compacted shops and houses, people, and not much else.

I wander around for a little while until I see this:



That is right, a bright pink trash truck! God I love this country sometimes.


I wandered around for awhile, not really looking for anything in particular, just kind of looking around for something cool. Big mistake. Cities in Japan are not like cities in America, or at least not like the cities I am used to, cities on the East coast. Kyoto is short buildings spread out for miles and miles, not tall buildings tightly packed together. Hence, walking around all I did was walk and walk and walk, without really getting anywhere.


Main street? Side street? Who can tell? Although many streets in Kyoto do have names, which was a nice change of pace. I, of course, couldn't read the street names, but nice to know that they are there for the future.


50 M to bunnies! I walked 50 M and saw no bunnies. Boo. :(

More walking around the city streets with no destination. Next time must remember to make a general plan of where to go while in a city. Didn't help that the knee was still killing me.




I just like the way Kyoto looks exactly like Tsuruga at street level. I am going back in the beginning of December to look at trees on the outskirts of the city. I wonder if the trees will look like this?


That is one stumpy ass tree.

Zoom back!


She is kind of small in this picture, but if you click for the big ass pic you will notice this woman is wearing the unofficial uniform for Japanese women age 13-35, short shorts with big boots. And now that it is cooler, stockings under the short shorts, but still the short shorts or a short skirt and big boots. The other option besides the big boots is high heels. That is all I ever see women in this country wear, huge boots or high heels. I saw a woman in sweatpants and high heels the other day. I guess because Japanese women don't have big boobs they show off their legs. As my friend said when I pointed out that Japanese women love short shorts, "Japanese men love short shorts too. On Japanese women."

I just think it is hilarious that probably 75% of the young women I see are wearing the exact same type of outfit. They probably think the same thing about American women. I dunno.

Back to Kyoto talk.



Walking along a street I eventually saw a giant pagoda tower sticking up above the skyline. Interesting.



As I got closer. Look at how it absolutely dominates the skyline. That is pretty cool. But if every other building is low because of earthquakes, how the heck does that old tower not fall over when an earthquake hits? I assume some kind of freaky shinto magic is keeping it erect.

(That's what she said)


I decided to go to the Temple that housed the giant pagoda tower, but couldn't cross the street to get to it for about five blocks. There was a pedestrian overpass near the entrance, but my knee was not liking going up and down stairs at this point, so I took the long route.

The giant entrance gate, so big I couldn't get a good picture of it.


Best I could do. Boy, this is a crappy photography blog.

Another woman in the unofficial uniform going through the gate.



I wish I knew what that lantern said. I really should learn some Japanese.



A fountain in the courtyard. This place was HUGE with all of these old buildings and tons of people milling around. I think I must have gone in the free way though because the buildings were fenced off from me and I couldn't get to them. I assume they have a pay entrance as well that you can use to go to everywhere.

I was so focused on tryin to find my way around the fencing I forgot to take a picture of the giant pagoda tower. D'oh!


Artsy view between two buildings.



Notice the trees starting to turn colors. And the fence blocking me from getting anywhere.




People lining up to pray to a god. I think it said it was a god of intelligence. Obviously I didn't go and pray to that guy, why bother, I am a super genius!


One of the buildings.



Look at the architecture. So intricate.



I am a big admirer of what people were able to accomplish hundreds if not thousands of years ago without modern technology to aid them. And consider this, how many buildings built today will be around in three hundred years?

My first favorite part of the day. The giant begging koi fish in the moat running through the middle of the temple grounds.





I don't know if these pictures convey just how huge these freakin' Koi were, but they were probably as big as the average housecat. They were huge! They are like the Americans of Koi! And they would come over and beg for food. If you leaned over the edge they would see you and swim over and then stick their little faces out of the water with their mouths open, little fins going backward to keep them swimming in place so they could beg for food.



Yeah, just like this guy, straight up begging for chow.

I held my arm out and fake threw something, and one of the fish that was begging me for food swam up to a leaf that had fallen in the water and ate it. Only to spit it back out when he realized it wasn't a french fry and swim off in disgust. I couldn't stop chuckling. Maybe I should seek some mental help.

After having some fun at the fat Kois' expense I continued my journey.



In almost the direct left middle of the shot there is a satellite dish pointed at the back of the building in front of it. Yeah.....betcha that guy gets great reception.

The Japanese love coffee. And there are coffee vending machines all over the place. Cold canned coffee. Yum. And they don't have the super sweet coffee like in America. I mean, they do have that, but they also have black coffee cold. The Japanese love bitter food. Anyway, one of the big coffee companies is called BOSS coffee. here is their vending machine



Two things, the boss of them all since 1992, really, THAT long! Wow! In a country as old as Japan proclaiming your length of superiority for 16 years seems a little silly. And second, look at that logo! That is a man right there, a man who drinks coffee! Fittingly, they recently signed Tommy Lee Jones as their celebrity spokesman



Give him a pipe and he would be that logo. Good call BOSS!

Here's a 7-11!



I didn't go in. I could only be disappointed when they didn't have Big Bites. I won't live in that world!





Door at a hair salon. Reads "We would like to share your happiness with you through your hair" That just sounds weird, and vaguely sexual. Or is that just to me?

I continued to wander around not really finding anything. NO BURGER KING! No cool clothes stores. I think I must have been in the wrong section of the city. But I had been walking around for close to four hours at this point and I was getting increasingly tired and angry at myself for not making a plan and my knee was getting to the point that every single step was painful, not just going up and down stairs, so I decided to call it a loss and head back to the train station.

Kyoto train station at 5:30 in the evening is not the least crowded place in the world. I tried to get a reserved seat for the train back, but all reserved seats were sold out until the 830 train. I wasn't going to walk around for another three hours so I took the unreserved seat. Unreserved seats don't even gaurentee a seat, so I had to head down to the platform right away to make sure I was on the next train at the beginning of the crowd. Except, there was no crowd. News to me, Japanese people line up for the trains. At Kyoto station there are signs on the platform telling you where each car's door is going to be (yes, they know to the foot where the train is going to stop, do you think they could ever do that in America?) and wether the particular car is reserved or unreserved for each train, and then people line up behind that sign and just wait. No milling around, no pushing to get on first, just lines. It was weird, and cool, and weird.

I was able to get a seat, yay!, in a smoking car, boo! Yes, they still allowing smoking in some cars on trains in Japan. I can't remember the last time I smelled smoke on a train. I know that I am old enough that at some point when I was a child I remember going into K-mart or some other department store and seeing ashtrays on the support beams in the middle of the aisles, and then wondering what they were going to do with all those ashtrays when the law changed, but I have not experienced being trapped in confined space with dozens of smokers (outside of a bar) in many many years. Yeah that was fun. Next time I am getting a big fat smelly cigar and am just going to be a complete ass about it. And of course the cute girl sitting across the aisle from me was chain smoking the entire time. Boo!

But, I don't want to end this blog on a negative note, so here is my absolute favorite part of my trip to Kyoto.




This smiley little dog! I was walking down some back street in a neighborhood and saw a woman walking her dog coming my way but across the street. Well that little dog went crazy and ran over and jumped up on me and was all happy and loving being petted. And the lady was nice and didn't immediately freak out that a white devil was petting her dog. Look how damned smiley that dog is! I love smiley dogs. And yes, I am holding him down in this photograph, he wouldn't stop jumping up towards me and the camera when I was trying to take his picture. Ahh, dogs. Good for what ails ya.

And that was my trip to Kyoto. All together a big flat flop. But now I know so next time I can have a better experience.